Respecting the Elderly Among You

Respect for the elderly begins in the home. It begins with us, as parents, teaching our children to respect us; that is, to show honor, love and faithfulness.   One powerful way of teaching our children is to show honor to our own aging parents. 

How do we speak of them before our children?  How do they see us treating them?  The way that we treat our parents affects our own future when we get old.   The Bible says, “Whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness” (Proverbs 20:20).

Realigned relationship.  We should see there is a difference between parents and their children, and parents and their married children.  In marriage, the father gives his daughter to her husband and she is now under her husband’s authority. Likewise, the married man is no longer under the authority of his father as he becomes head of the new family unit.  For parents to expect obedience from a married son or daughter is not natural to God’s plan for the family.

There is a realignment in the relationship with our aging parents.  In marriage the husband together with his wife make their own decisions, but they still respect the advice and opinions of their own parents. They may solicit the advice of their own parents. Being older, they often have wisdom, life’s experience, and maturity to shed light where decisions need to be made.  The Bible says, “The glory of young men is their strength, and the beauty of old men is the gray head” (Proverbs 20:29).  The older generation, however, should leave the decisions to their married children. To interfere is not wise!

Love and faithfulness.  God wants more than just showing outward respect for our aging parents.  That’s empty! We are called to show love for them, care for them from the heart.  It’s easy to place them ‘into the system’ and ‘dispose’ of them.

No doubt, they may require care beyond what we are able to provide. Homecare is ideal.  Even in a hospital, the responsibility for children and grandchildren to show honor, love and respect may increase: visiting with them, sitting and eating with them.  The Bible says, “Children’s children are the crown of old men…” (Proverbs 17:6).

It’s important, therefore, that the honor we expect from our children not be ‘fear induced’, but spontaneously arise from a heart of love.  This fruit comes from God who establishes a relationship with all who believe on Jesus Christ. This is the foundation for showing honor, love and faithfulness to our parents.